Pretty Green Eyes
by xXVoodooToyXx
Summary: VAM. Bam Margera. Ville Valo. Bam sneaks off to Finland and spends time with Ville. Later, Bam starts to wonder what he really feels for Mr.Ville Valo,their friendship taken to great extremes. Now, Jussi 69 is making things difficult...NEW CHAPTER UP!
1. Warmth

**(A/N) Most chapters are really super short like this one, so don't be frightened away if there happens to be twenty chapters later on. It's more like three, but cut up into peices.**

Pretty Green Eyes

Bam stared at the ceiling from the discomfort of his hotel room bed. He scolded himself, knowing that he was physically worn out and needed rest, but despite that, his mind wouldn't shut up and leave him alone. It was bad enough that he had all of Finland to think about, considering that he was spending a week in Helsinki to get some rest from his busy life back home. Jussi and Jyrki of The 69 Eyes were staying in a separate room down the hall, since they insisted on paying their own way. Bam, who didn't want to be alone, was relieved when he found out there were no more rooms left, so Ville Valo had to share Bam's room instead of being noble and paying for his own room too. Earlier, Bam had been sitting in the room talking to Ville and drinking a bit, and he send Ville down to go get Jussi and Jyrki so they could join in the fun. Ville had left, and didn't come back, so Bam had gone to go get them himself. When Bam got to Jussi and Jyrki's room, Jyrki was pissed at something, and stormed off, and Jussi had fallen asleep, sending Bam back to his room empty handed. Now, Bam lay there, starring at the ceiling, waiting for Ville to come back, even though he had told himself that he was going to forget about Ville and just go to sleep.

But he didn't.

Bam listened as rain started to plink across the window. Bam felt a final thought of relief when he noticed his mind had finally stopped, before he finally fell asleep.

Bam hadn't slept long when he heard someone bump into the door. Bam quickly sat up, and waited for a second, considering the fact that it might have been in his head. He was just about to go back to sleep when there was a louder bump into the door, and this time Bam was sure that it was real. He didn't move, someone fumbling with the doorknob. The door opened, but it got stuck for a second, and what appeared to be a drunken Ville leaned his weight against the door to force it open, and fell onto the floor when the door gave in. Bam watched Ville for a second, Ville half-asleep and non-responsive. Bam sighed and fell back into the soft pillows. Bam was too tired to deal with Ville anyway, so he decided to just go to sleep.

Half an hour later, Bam woke up as he felt Ville climbing onto the bed. Ville tried wearily to climb over Bam, who was laying mid mattress, to get to the other side. Unsuccessfully. He yawned, and gave up, falling asleep flung across Bam's body. He didn't last in the uncomfortable position for long though, and woke up, trying to move across again, finally getting to the other side.

Ville lye on his side, squinting at Bam.

"…Bammie?"

Bam turned to face him. "Yeah, it's me, Bam." Bam said, trying pointlessly to jog some of Ville's memory. Somehow, though, despite being drunk, Ville was able to remember Bam.

He smiled at Bam innocently.

Bam couldn't help smile back, but shook it off, remembering that he was supposed to be pissed at Ville, not smiling at him like an idiot.

"How the hell did you manage to get drunk?" Bam lifted an eyebrow.

"I'm not DRUNK," Ville explained, "I'm MUFFED."

"That's the same thing."

Ville starred at Bam as if he was crazy. "MUFFED." he repeated, yawned and turned his back on Bam.

Bam sighed and let Ville be.

Bam shivered, finally realizing that the hotel room was freezing cold. The smell of rain clung onto the air that seemed to seep in through the cold foggy glass of the small window. Bam climbed out of bed and went to close the curtain in a final attempt for warmth. He tripped on his shirt and hoodie, which he had peeled off and left there in a messy pile a while back ago. He kicked them to the side and climbed back into bed, shivering in the one thin blanket that they provided for the room. Even Ville, drunk as he was, noticed how cold it was, and started to scoot over towards Bam who had most of the blanket. Ville was more sensitive to cold weather than Bam, wearing long sleeves during the summer and complaining about the chill in the air while Bam would throw off his shirt and complain about the heat. Ville pulled at some of the blanket, and got under it. He shiver slightly, and started to sink into it, disappearing somewhere within. Bam blinked, and jerked as he felt Ville's arm wrap around him in a sort of hug. Bam stiffened as he felt Ville snuggle into him. He hadn't anticipated this.

Bam started to calm down as he started to find Ville's warmth soothing, especially considering that Ville was still wearing his long sleeved black button down shirt, and the fabric combined with his warmth felt pleasurable across Bam's bare upper body. Bam closed his eyes and started to hope that the moment would never end, as he listened to Ville's light breathing and the sound of the rain plinking across the window.

Ville wouldn't remember any of this in the morning anyways.

To be continued.


	2. Love of Snow

Chapter 2

Bam waited impatiently for everyone to arrive. Bam was sitting alone at a bar waiting for Ville, Jussi and Jyrki, which were all caught up doing something and decided to meet him there. The snow outside was getting heavier, and Bam started to wonder if they would make it, seeing no one out on the streets from the window he was sitting next to. Bam rested against the window, the glass fogging up as he breathed onto it. He stared at the fog for a second, and started to draw a heartagram with his finger. That's when Bam saw Ville walking by. Bam stopped drawing the heartagram, leaving it as a heart as Ville walked up to the glass and smiled at Bam. Bam waved childishly, Ville grinning and waving back before he started walking to the door to come join him.

Ville shivered as he stood in front of Bam greeting him with a shaky voice.

"Cold?" Bam blinked.

Ville nodded and sat down across from him, shivering and starring at Bam with an innocent face.

"Have you seen the others?" Bam said casually.

Ville shook his head. "By the looks of the weather outside, I don't think they'll make it." Ville said, looking out the window.

Bam sighed. "forget them." He said. He noticed Ville starring at the heart that he had drawn on the window. Bam flushed and wiped it away with his gloved hand. Ville blinked, and tilted his head at Bam, as if asking him why he got so tense about it. Bam pretended not to notice the face Ville made, and called over a waitress. Bam himself had no answer to that.

Bam looked up at Ville, who hadn't touched his beer at all. Bam was already on his third glass.

"You okay?" Bam blinked.

"Just.. Tired I guess. Running around with you is hard work." Ville smiled.

Bam smiled. "I'm sorry."

Ville waved it off with a shaky hand, still cold, especially considering they were sitting next to a window.

"Hey."

Bam and Ville looked up at Jussi. Jussi's hair, surprisingly still sticking up like usual, had some snowflakes stuck to the ends, the rest of his body wet. Bam blinked.

"Is it that bad outside?" He said, smirking at Jussi's clothes.

"Actually, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell." Jussi smiled, sitting down next to Bam.

Bam laughed. "That's an awesome image."

Jussi, despite being completely soaked, didn't seem to be bothered by the cold at all. He didn't even seem cold. He sat there, as if he was sitting outside in the sun. Bam glanced at Ville, the complete opposite, just cold by looking at Jussi.

"You cold?" Jussi said, pointing at Ville. Bam starred at Ville as Ville looked up.

Ville didn't say anything. He starred at Jussi for a second, then his eyes retreated and he looked down at the table a bit fidgety.

Bam blinked. He had never seen Ville so… shy before.

_No. _Bam thought. He looked over at Jussi. He had to admit, that Jussi was looking pretty good right then, in his wet coat, his hair still encrusted with the snowflakes that were starting to melt. He glanced back at Ville, who kept glancing over at Jussi and turning away when he caught himself doing it. Bam felt a bit of envy, glancing over at Jussi.

_Those pretty green eyes. Why is he only looking at YOU with them? _He felt like saying.

He frowned at Jussi. Jussi turned to him.

"Huh?"

Bam shook it off. 'Oh. Nothing." he said, looking out the frosted window.

Jussi looked confused, and Bam knew Jussi was. Bam too was confused.

_Why the fuck do I even CARE?! Jussi can HAVE Ville._

But then is when Bam started to doubt himself, and started to wonder what it was that he felt for Mr. Ville Valo.

Bam starred at the snow on the floor as he walked down the street with Ville. They had just left the bar. Jussi had left earlier, and Jyrki had never showed up due to the weather that only just now started to clear up enough to walk in. Bam and Ville were going to stay longer. It was Ville who asked to. But as they stayed at the bar together, Ville was starting to fall asleep, and Bam told him it was time to go back. For a second, Ville had started to argue with Bam, wanting to stay. Ville had then caught a glimpse of the face that Bam was making. (Which Bam guessed was his 'serious' face) and had obediently agreed to leaving. Bam felt a bit of remorse, seeing the bit of disappointment painted across Ville's innocent face, but Ville later admitted that he WAS tired, and needed some rest. Bam stopped in the middle of the street and turned back at Ville, who was struggling to catch up. He had been walking too fast this whole time, making Ville struggle. Bam's face dropped, and he ran back over to Ville to walk with him.

"Sorry." Bam said, with the deepest sentiment.

Ville smiled to see Bam come back for him, with a tired expression. Bam knew that Ville forgave him.

"You know Jussi?" Bam said, looking down at the snow as they walked.

"Yes." Ville said with a questioning tone.

"Well… what do you think about him?"

Ville blinked. "What do I THINK about him?"

Ville thought for a second.

"He's alright."

Bam smiled. "Would you fuck him if you two were completely muffed?" he teased.

Ville laughed. "That is rude."

"I'm just asking."

"If I was completely muffed and didn't realize what I was doing then maybe." Ville smiled.

"And otherwise…?"

"I don't think so. I don't see him like that. Or at least…" Ville gave up on his own words.

They dropped the conversation and continued on walking in awkward silence.

Ville wanted to tell him something, Bam could tell.

But he didn't.

They finally reached the hotel stopping in front of it and starring it down.

"You think Jussi and Jyrki are asleep right now?"

Ville picked up some snow from the ground. "Probably."

Bam turned to Ville, watching him play with the snow in his hands for a second. Ville looked up, and his eyes locked onto Bam's for a second, then he nervously looked back down, the green flash of his eyes teasing Bam as he looked away. Bam blinked. He didn't know how to react to that. Bam felt his face get hot when he realized how Ville looked at him just then. He looked down at the floor, starring at his shoes for a second until the strange reaction melted away as Ville yawned wearily, and they walked back into the hotel.

Ville opened the hotel room door, looking around curiously. He hadn't really gotten a good look at it, considering that he'd been drunk the entire time he'd been there, and it all seemed new to him.

The childish wonder on his face, the dim green of his eyes, the tired softness in the vibe that came from him. He was exhausted, and yet he still seemed to have such a nice glow about him.

Bam couldn't take it all in. He couldn't quite process how he felt at that very moment, confused about everything…

….until he felt a strong urge for Ville go through his body.

He went up to Ville and starred at him for a few seconds. Ville was confused, his eyes shooting over at other things, freezing up as he noticed how close Bam had gotten.

"Stop that." Bam said with a straight face.

Ville blinked and looked into Bam's eyes. "What?"

"Stop… looking away like that. I… want to see you're pretty green eyes."

The two of them were kinda taken back by what Bam had just said. They stood there in silence for a bit, embarrassed, jumpy… and confused.

"I-i'm sorry." Ville said, stepping back from Bam a bit. He backed into a table nervously, and tried making his way around it stopping to stare at Bam for a second before he turned and started to walk towards the door.

Bam's face drained.

Ville was leaving him.

Ville reached for the door, his face flushed as he turned the doorknob. When the door hit Ville's face.

"HELLO!"

Jussi opened the door and poked his head in.

They starred at him blankly. Ville rubbed his forehead.

Jussi noticed the vibe in the room, feeling the tension in the air.

"Uh.. I'll… come back later." Jussi said, retreating and slamming the door shut leaving Ville inside.

The two blinked.

Bam looked for Ville's reaction.

Ville looked over at Bam.

"It's not him." Ville whispered.

Bam blinked.

"I don't like Jussi," Ville said, looking down. "That's not why I was running away."

"Then why?!" Bam said, going up to Ville and gripping onto his shoulders, forcing Ville to look him straight in the face.

"I don't know!" Ville yelled back, matching Bam's tone.

"You HAVE to know dammit!" Bam said, shaking Ville a bit.

Bam stopped as he saw a little smile slowly toast across Ville's face.

"I got shy."

Bam blinked, his face felt hot again. He hugged Ville. "God, what type of excuse is THAT?!" Bam laughed.

"I couldn't help it." Ville pouted.

Bam stopped and looked into Ville's eyes again.

Then he kissed him hard.

Ville was taken back for a second, freezing up. Bam didn't care, and continued to kiss him, parting Ville's soft lips with his tongue and sliding it in through the opening. Ville started to kiss back, still a little shy, Bam kissing him harder, then nibbling on Ville's lip. They pulled away for a second, and Bam pushed Ville onto the bed and climbing on top of him to kiss him again. Bam pulled away, and glanced at Ville's shirt. Bam unbuttoned Ville's shirt, pulling it open and feeling his smooth white chest, making Ville squirm as the slight touch of Bam's finger tips tickled his skin. Bam started to work himself down, tugging at Ville's belt buckle. Ville jerked as Bam managed to get the belt off, starting to resist. Bam blinked, noticing that Ville was feeling uncomfortable, but he kept on going anyways, not prepared to stop anytime soon. He wanted Ville so bad. He felt Ville was about to crawl away though, so Bam pinned him down by the arms, moving in to kiss him again to calm his nerves. Which Bam was successfully able to do. Ville gave in, and stopped fidgeting around, obediently handing his body over into the loving care of Bam Margera, prepared for whatever it was that Bam would do to his body during his reign over him. Bam smiled when he noted this, and went back down. He stripped Ville down to his boxers, running his hands gently across his penis through the thin material of his boxers, making Ville hard at his touch. Bam gently started to pull down Ville's boxers. Bam got closer, kissing Ville's sensitive skin, before opening his mouth, letting Ville's hard slide in. Bam started to suck, gently at first. Ville's breathing started to quicken. Ville jerked as he felt the sucking get harder, closing his eyes and gripping onto the blanket. Ville let out a little moan, Bam pulling away for a second smiling. He continued sucking for a bit, Ville letting out a more shrill sound. Bam stopped and pulled off his own shirt, tossing it aside. Ville looked up at Bam, breathing hard.

"Kiss me." he said softly.

They kissed some more, Ville somehow finding his way on top of Bam, pulling at his pants, then at his boxers, before Bam felt Ville start sucking, a thank you for what Bam had just done. Ville was more tender about it, teasing Bam with his tongue and fingers. Bam closed his eyes.

"You fucking jerk." Bam whispered with a smile, Ville continuing just to get a rise out of him.

Ville started to suck again, harder then before, making up for the teasing. Bam moaned and thrust, starting to think that Ville was much better at this then he could ever be, the pleasure becoming hard to bare, making Bam shiver for a second.

_Oh, God._

Bam let out a louder moan, Ville continued on, teasing him in between for not too long, but long enough to feel, which Bam felt to be the perfect combination. Ville stopped, and went off to the side of the bed to catch his breath. Bam grinned, and quickly got Ville onto his stomach, taking him by surprise. Ville's eyes widened, knowing what Bam was going to do. He closed his eyes and let out a yelp as he felt Bam entering him. Bam started to move in and out, Ville feeling some pain. Ville closed his eyes, and yelped again as Bam suddenly started to go too fast, the pain rising to point that tears were running down Ville's face.

"Ah!" Ville let out, Bam noting that it was a pained cry.

Bam slowed down a bit, but continued a steady pace, and the pain started to turn into pleasure, Bam finding the appropriate time to speed up. Ville dug his face into a pillow, gripping onto it hard, muffling his moans that had started to get louder as Bam continued, smudging the tears that had stopped flowing onto the fabric of the pillow. It was something that Ville had never felt before. Ville couldn't bare it anymore and let out a loud scream of pleasure, that seemed to echo off of the walls for a short second. The thought of someone hearing them crossed Bam's mind, especially Jussi and Jyrki, who might pass by at any given time, hear something and pop in through the door. Bam shoved them out of his head, continuing until he released his hot into Ville, another pleasure that Ville hadn't endured before, coming unexpectedly. Bam started to pull out of him, slowly and tenderly, falling to the side and panting hard. Ville also panted, pulling up his boxers and his pants, too tired to zip and button them up. Bam pulled on his boxers, and got the blanket that at some point in time had been tossed onto the floor. He looked over at Ville, who was already asleep. He was tired enough before from running around Finland and Bam had only added to that. He smiled, and pulled the blanket on over them, closing his eyes to go to sleep too, as a sudden wave of exhaustion swept him over.


	3. The Funeral Of Hearts

Chapter 3

Bam pulled on his Adio brand shoes as he hopped over to the door. He turned the knob opening it wide, blocking the door for a second and telling Jussi that he was going to come out and meet him outside in the hallway instead.

"Okay." Jussi smiled, and started to walk down the hallway. Bam picked up a beanie from the floor and pulled it on, and started back towards the door. Bam didn't notice the small table and banged his shin against it's wooden leg.

"FUCK!" Bam said, gripping onto his shin. That table had caused nothing but trouble the past few days. Bam started to think about smashing it in half--

Ville sleepily sat up in bed, squinting at Bam.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you." Bam said, mentally scolding himself for doing so.

Ville didn't seem to hear, and simply fell back into the pillows, falling asleep once again. Bam slowly shut the door and started walking towards Jussi.

"Hey, where's Jyrki?" Bam asked, looking around.

Jussi shrugged. "Went back to sleep after going through all the trouble to get dressed up."

"So you just left him there?"

Jussi nodded. Bam sighed.

Ville was still sleeping when Bam came back to the hotel room, with some food he brought back. He set it on the table, and remember the huge bruise on his leg caused by the wretched table only a foot away from him. He stared it down, giving it a mean glare.

"Starring contest or are you mad at it?" Ville called out to him.

Bam quickly turned away from the table and looked over at Ville. He was sitting up, still shirtless.Still tired. Still Ville. With the same cuteness to him, especially when he looked exhausted. It was something about the soft green glow of his eyes that were only that _specific_ shade of green when he was sleepy. Ville lifted an eyebrow at Bam who was starring at him dramatically, which Bam just noticed he was doing.

"Oh. You want some food? Me and Jussi went out to get breakfast. Every edible thing in this hotel is crap."

Ville blinked at the bag for a second, and fell back into the pillows.

"I'm going to gag."

Bam scratched the back of his head. Ville gripped onto his stomach and turned onto his side, turning his back at Bam.

"Stomachache?"

Ville replied with a muffled moan as he dug his face into a pillow.

Bam remembered that the same thing would happen to Missy for who knows what reason… And then he remembered, that Missy had no idea where he was. Bam's eyes widened as he remembered the day before he left to Finland. Bam had just gotten up that day, when his cell phone started ringing, non-stop with calls about his movie Minghags, complaints about his Sirius Radio show not being on air for a while, something about Element clothing at war with Adio Shoes. Going to court against the township again…. It had all been a disaster that day. The realization that he had so much work, so much things to do hit him hard, and he just couldn't take it anymore. Everything was going too fast for him, and he wanted to get away. So as Missy was asleep, Bam packed a single suite case, and ran out the door, leaving behind everything. He had made a call to Jussi, then to Ville. When he hung up, the screen had started to flash 'Missy' and he turned it off. Now he couldn't help wonder what he would come home to in a few days.

Bam climbed into bed next to Ville, smiling at him as he pouted over his aching stomach.

"Let me take a look at it." Bam said, Ville turning onto his back confused.

Bam gently passed his fingers across Ville's stomach, making Ville jerk at the slight tingle.

"Where's it hurt? Here?" Bam pressed down on Ville's stomach a little, making Ville shut his eyes tight.

Bam rested the palm of his hand on the area for a while, closing his eyes as he felt like taking a nap. The softness of Bam's hand had calmed Ville down a little closing his eyes as well.

Then there was a knock at the door.

Bam jumped out of bed, scurrying over to the door. He stopped and pressed his ear against it, listening for sound.

"Who is it?" Bam called out.

"It's me Jussi." Jussi said, with a slight confusion in his voice. Bam sighed and opened the door. Jussi walked in, with a straight face.

"Listen Bam, we have to go a bit early."

Bam blinked. "You and Jyrki?"

Jussi nodded. "We forgot about a concert we were supposed to have in a few days, and if WE forgot about it, then god knows what the rest of the band is doing. I'm sure they forgot about it too, so we have to go track them down."

Bam nodded. "You leaving now?"

"Yeah."

Jyrki walked over to them, his hands in his pockets.

"Aw this sucks, huh?" Jyrki said, angered at the short stay.

Bam climbed back into bed next to Ville and looked up at the familiar ceiling.

"What's on your mind?" Ville asked, starring at the ceiling as well.

"I don't know." Bam said.

Ville turned to face him. "Missy doesn't know does she?"

Bam blinked. "About what?"

"Everything." Ville said quietly.

"No," Bam admitted. "I snuck out of the house to come here. I haven't talked to her since, so she obviously doesn't know about--" Bam gave up on his sentence.

Ville went quiet, and Bam knew that Ville was bothered by the fact that Missy didn't know. And that Bam wasn't planning on telling her.

Then, Ville's cell phone rang.

Ville rolled out of bed and went over to the cell phone, his eyebrow lifting as he read aloud the caller id.

"Margera house."

Bam sat up, wide-eyed. "Missy?!"

"Ville nodded. "Probably."

Bam sighed. "Pick it up. If she asks you, just tell her I'm here."

"Hello?" Ville answered.

He paused and listened to the person on the other end of the phone and pressed a button.

"I'm sorry, can you say that again?"

"It's me, Missy." The phone said on speaker, Bam going stiff at her voice.

"Missy. Hello." Ville said with a smile.

"I'm sorry for calling you, but Bam's been missing, and i've called everyone and--" She paused, and sighed.

"So you assume he's with me?" Ville asked politely.

"I just wanted to see if you knew where he might be--"

"Calm down sweetheart. He's right here." Ville said, looking over at Bam.

"He is?" Missy said with a eager tone to her voice.

"Hey Babe." Bam said aloud.

"Babe?! Where have you been?!"

"Finland with Ville, Jussi and Jyrki."

"Baabe! You left without telling me anything!"

Ville pressed a button, and handed the phone to Bam, not wanting to hear anymore. Bam blinked at Ville, and took the phone, talking to Missy and assuring him that he was fine, and his leaving had nothing to do with her. Ville sat at the edge of the bed quietly.

Then, Bam dropped the cell phone onto the floor, Ville turning to face him to see what was wrong.

"She… wants me to come home."

Bam starred at Ville, as he walked ahead of Bam through the snow. Ville stopped and turned to Bam, and smiled, but his smile didn't reach his saddened eyes. The taxi pulled up, and they climbed inside.

Ville and Bam stood there starring at each other, the few minutes Bam had left before he had to board his plane, and leave behind Ville.

_Love's the funeral of hearts_

_And an ode for cruelty_

_When angels cry blood_

_On flowers of evil in bloom._

Bam felt warm tears forming in his eyes, blurring his vision. He blinked them away, trying to get a good look at Ville, realizing this was one of the last times he was going to see Ville in a while. It wasn't as bad as it felt, but it seemed like they were going to separate forever. After this, their relationship may never be the same again. Bam was able to catch a glimpse of Ville, just before he saw a tear stream down the soft skin of his pale face. Ville looked away, and wiped it away, blinking hard and trying to muffle the soft sniffling sounds that came from him. This only made Bam feel worse, which was WHY Ville was trying to hide it.

_The funeral of hearts_

Bam's heart started to snk, a knot forming in his throat, his stomach fluttering.

_and a plea for mercy_

"Maybe I shouldn't go--"

_When love is a gun_

Ville looked up at Bam. "Missy. Is waiting for you."

Bam hugged Ville, as they let the tears escape. Everyone was starting to board the plane, and it was time for Bam to leave. This may be the last time that Bam would be able to hug Ville out of pure love. Their love wasn't meant to be, and they were both aware of it. They let go of each other, Bam taking one last look at Ville's pretty green eyes, stained with tears that were running down his face. Bam glanced around, and kissed Ville's soft lips one last time before he started to make his way to the crowd of people that were boarding the same plane he was.

_Separating me from you._


	4. Killing Loneliness

**(A/N) Okay, incase this gets confusing.**

_Normal italics either mean what a character is thinking _like Bam thinking something like _I love his lips._ or whatever.

"_Quotation italics mean that someone is remembering something someone said, or a conversation." _Bam does a lot of this in this chapter remembering a conversation with Missy.

_**Bold Italics means lyrics to a song. **_Pieces of songs I put in by Ville's band HIM. The title of the song (if lyrics are included) is usually the title of the chapter, unless said otherwise. The only chapters that include song lyrics so far are chapters 3 "Funeral of Hearts" and chapter 4 (this one) "Killing Loneliness." You should listen to the songs if you can. The fact that the lyrics match up to the story is mainly unintentional. I write the story and throw in lyric quotes. Last chapter I didn't bold them. Ignore that.

_+++++++++++++Killing Loneliness by Ashes++++++++++ _

It had been two days since the loss. The loss of Bam's beloved wife. Maybe if he hadn't token his eyes off the road. Maybe if he had seen the car and pressed on the gas just a bit more, the other car would have slammed into the back door, and not directly into Missy. Bam could do nothing but blame himself, but he knew he had to move on eventually. He wasn't sure if he was ready to just yet. Bam remember all of it, in short choppy pieces. Lights, screeching, screaming. Missy's hand gripping onto Bam's. For the last time. A hard impact that made Missy's hand go cold as airbags jumping out. A spinning blur, the shatter and gleam of broken glass that rained down from God knows where. Another hard, gut wrenching impact that made Bam wonder if it was ever going to stop. The moment where he was upside down, ended by the car turning onto the passenger's side, the seatbelt preventing Bam from falling onto a unresponsive Missy or the floor, which was more like the inside of the passenger door, below. The way his hand shook as he pressed the buttons of his cell phone, a matching quivering voice that only managed to utter out; "Help me."

Bam was spread across the couch, an arm across his eyes. He hadn't done much else after the crash, except drink, and blame himself, and drink. He didn't WANT to do anything else, punishment for what he had done by depriving himself of any type of fun.

"Hey Bam." Novak said, sitting down on him.

"Get off me." Bam said flatly, not bothering to move his arm away to look at the pest.

"Nah. Hey, you got to move on man. You can't just sit there and do nothing, wishing she'd come back."

Bam smirked. "You want to bet?"

Novak sighed. "You know… it's been all over the news."

Bam felt his throat closing in. "Yeah. I know. There are still reporters trying to get in through the gates."

Novak nodded. "So what are you going to do about it?"

"Mope."

Ville lifted his open fist up to the front door, starring at the heartagrams that were surprisingly still there. The door bell still broken. Nothing had changed, and Ville couldn't help smile at that. He had hoped nothing would. He tapped on the door and waited for a second. There was a loud sound of something breaking inside, followed by fast paced footsteps moving towards the door. Ville quickly moved aside as the door swung open with a familiar creak, Novak running out and stopping, poking his head back inside. "Fine. I'm going to the party by MYSELF and hooking up with babes!" He yelled inside with a grin.

"Fine! Just don't bring them back here!" Bam's voice came from inside. Ville tapped on Novak's shoulder, startling him.

"Excuse me--"

"Oh crap. I didn't see you. Here for Bam?"

Ville nodded cautiously.

"Yeah, he's inside. If he's not inside breaking something, he's out back naked." Novak pointed a thumb at the open door with a grin.

"You're kidding." Ville said, wide-eyed at the naked comment.

"You'll just have to find out on your own dude. I never stick around long enough to find out myself."

A car pulled up, and Novak disappeared, leaving Ville to venture inside on his own.

Ville followed the heavy stench of hard liquor and walked into the dinning room where he heard shattering of glass. Ville looked up at Bam, who was standing on the dinner table with a baseball bat in one hand, a pinkish tinted glass in the other. Bam froze. Ville froze.

"Ville?"

"What are you doing?" Ville blinked nervously.

"What are _you _doing?" Bam said, jumping off the table, his shoes making a short echo.

"I heard about what happened and all and I just thought that I should come see how you're doing, but you seem fine so I feel a bit out of hand here--"

Bam dropped the baseball bat and hugged Ville tight, burying his face into Ville's chest.

"Oh god. I needed you here so bad." Bam's voice came muffled, and quivered.

Bam finally felt a sense of relief and let out his emotions in the form of tears that dampened Ville's shirt. Ville led Bam over to a couch, and they sat down, tears still running down Bam's face.

"You need someone to talk to?" Ville smiled politely, making Bam remember the past. It had been nearly a year since Bam had last seen Ville's smile, and he hated himself for distracting himself with Missy at such wonderful moment.

"It's all my fault." Bam blubbered, not looking Ville in the eye. "All of it."

Bam woke himself up by rolling off of the couch onto the hard ground. He sat up and blinked hard at the bright light, and noticed Novak making out with a girl on the couch next to where Bam assumed he ws sleeping.

"What the FUCK?!" Bam yelled, jumping up to his feet.

Novak merely looked up at Bam, still kissing. He pulled away from the chick. "What?"

"What did I TELL you about bringing home you're half-ass street-whore sluts?!"

"Hey! Don't call her that in front of her face!" Novak yelled back in defense.

"I'll call her whatever I damn want in my fucking house!"

The girl pouted in Novak's arms, Novak fuming.

"Get the fuck out of here! Go to a stupid motel or something." Bam frowned.

Novak and the girl got up from the couch. The filthy, filthy couch that Bam would not be able to stand anymore.

"Okay. Hey, I'm sorry man. I won't do it again. No hard feelings?" Novak said with a smile. He took everything so lightly.

Bam sighed, closing his eyes and rubbing his throbbing forehead. "Fine. Just please--"

"Yeah. Right. Come on let's go." Novak called to the girl walking towards the door.

"By the way, that Ville guy. Disappeared into the guest room after you fell asleep. Hasn't come out since." Novak said, shooing the girl out the door.

"He's staying here for a while." _For a LONG while. I hope. _

"Kay. Just let him be then. Get yourself an aspirin and get to bed. You look like shit." Novak ordered, waiting to see Bam do as he said. The girl was growing inpatient and Bam didn't care, but he wanted to be left alone so he did just that. Otherwise Novak would have stood there forever.

Bam shivered and rolled onto his side, throwing his arm onto the empty side of the bed.

"Missy. Give me the blanket it's fucking freezing." He mumbled.

He patted the space, and sat up. It took a while before it all sunk in. She was gone, and he was going to wake up to this every day.

Bam turned the doorknob slowly, finding it unlocked. There was no sign of life, no light or sound, and Bam considered that he had dreamt that Ville had come over. He poked his head inside and peered into the darkness. The curtain was drawn open, and moonlight was seeping in making patterns across the floor. Bam looked over at the bed, and saw Ville. He was on his side, his face resting on the open page of a book, his arm limp across the other page. Bam quietly slipped under the blankets next to Ville. He stared at Ville through the moonlight and picked up the arm that was lying across the book. Limp and thin, he held the arm for a second before he gently set it aside. He slowly tugged on the book until it slipped out form under Ville's cheek. Bam squinted at the page, the words small and unclear. The cover was no better, and all he could make out was the name 'Edgar Allen Poe'. Bam smiled. He glanced around, and slipped off one of his fingerless gloves, resting it on the page and clamping the book shut. He suddenly felt out of hand, barging in, trying to see what he was reading, marking the page with his dirty glove. He glanced at Ville, unsure of what to do. The answer became easier when Ville woke up on his own and squinted up at Bam.

"Bam?"

Bam froze. His nerves were getting to him, and his mind had completely stopped.

"Not sleeping well?" Ville asked, rubbing an eye.

Bam managed to shake his head. "God I feel so stupid."

Ville sat up. "You can stay with me if you want." Ville smiled.

Bam shook his head and started to climb out of bed.

"Naw, I should just go back to my--"

Bam froze as Ville clung onto his arm. "Don't go."

"No I can't stay here." Bam said, feeling the tension rising.

Ville looked at Bam, letting go of his arm. "Why?"

Bam blinked, speechless. "It's…not right."

"Because?"

"Because my wife is fucking DEAD Ville! And…it's just not right! You… and me… and.. ah! You had to go and make it so complicated!!!" Bam said, stomping towards the door.

"It's not my fault Missy is gone, nor is it yours." Ville said quietly.

Bam stopped. He closed his eyes and rubbed his head again. His mind told him to stop, but the message wasn't getting to the rest of him.

"It _is _my fault, don't you GET it?! And… I ran off…and.. You had to go and change everything… my relationship… my train of thought… I thought I wanted you when I was supposed to want HER." Bam said, running his hands through his hair. Bam could feel the frustration pouring out directly at Ville.

"I CAN'T be with you Ville. I shouldn't have been in the first place, and I just CAN'T now!!!" Bam felt himself breathing hard, and realized the extent of his own voice, yelling the harsh words at Ville like daggers. He stooped low, and he knew it.

Ville became mute and stiff, starring at Bam with scared eyes. Hurt eyes. They became the one shade of green Bam had never hoped to see. The shade that reflected pure pain.

Bam's face drained. He tried working up an apology, but no words came out, nothing coming into mind to express his feeling of sentiment, that was overshadowed with frustration and confusion.

Ville got up and grabbed a pack of cigarettes from the nightstand.

"I'll be… out there. Excuse me."

He walked out of the door without looking up, leaving Bam alone in the moonlight with nothing but hatred toward himself and Ville's polite words that re-played in his head to make himself understand.

Bam walked five blocks before he found Ville, sitting on the sidewalk smoking what appeared to be his third cigarette. He was looking out at the empty road, shivering in the cold air. He yanked the beanie he was wearing down over his eyes, smoking blindly without a care. Bam found it a wonder that Ville hadn't set his scarf on fire yet, that kept blowing in different directions with the wind.

"Hey Ville."

Ville looked up blindly in the wrong direction which made Bam chuckle.

"Over here n'idiot." Bam smiled.

Ville peeked out from under the beanie at Bam with a slight smile.

"Come on lets go." Bam said.

"Huh?" Ville blinked at Bam's sudden choice of action.

"Home." Bam said, pointing a thumb up the street.

"Bam, I don't think I should go back, I'm only causing a burden really."

"No you're not!" Bam said with a pleading face.

"Really, Bam. I'm truly sorry I--"

"I was just letting out all my anger on you. You've got nothing to do with anything." Bam said, standing before him.

Ville looked up at Bam, and Bam yearned to see the shade of his eyes, which the darkness could not fully portray.

"You know that's not true." Ville said quietly.

Bam smiled at Ville and grabbed his hand, pulling him to his feet. "You're right. It's you're fault for being so damn adorable."

Ville laughed. "Same goes to you."

They stood there in an awkward silence letting the world go by as they stood frozen in moment.

Bam blinked and felt Ville's hand still in his own. The soft bare skin. The cold touch that was starting to warm up with his own warmth. Ville too felt the warmth, and grinned a bit at it, gripping onto Bam's hand a bit to ensure he wouldn't let go. Ville couldn't help being cold.

Bam smiled, and started leading Ville back in the direction of the private castle that he called home as the sun started to wake and bring light to new day. A day of redemption.

All the burdens had disappeared, everything keeping them apart was gone. Bam and Ville finally had time together, after a year of being apart. They climbed into the guest room bed, the thought of being in Missy's side of the bed in Bam's room made Ville less then comfortable. Ville barely managed to kick his shoes off before he gave up, completely worn out and drifting in and out of sleep. Bam threw off his shoes and peeled off his shirt, which he wasn't comfortable sleeping in. It had been so long, it felt completely new again; to be around Ville. They were still getting used to each other's close presence again, fighting back the nerves and the fluttery feeling in the pit of their stomach that they got every time their flesh would happen to touch. Bam kept his distance from Ville for a while until Ville closed his eyes, and Bam couldn't help pulling Ville in closer, drawing Ville into his chest. Ville got startled out of sleep, going numb in Bam's arms. They were once again discovering the shape of each other's bodies, Bam feeling down Ville's spine, Ville jerking at the sudden tickle.

"_Baaabe! Don't touch that!"_

"_What IS it?"_

"_It's a candle stupid."_

"_What the hell for?"_

"_We're going to light it on the first snow of the winter Bam."_

Bam blinked away the tears as he remembered the candle still sitting there at the Nightmare Before Christmas fireplace's mantel. Pink, out of place. Untouched. The snow yet to be seen.

_**Memories, sharp as daggers**_

_**Pierce into the flesh of today**_

Bam felt Ville tense up a bit.

_**Suicide of love took away all that matters**_

"Bam, let me hold _you._" Ville pleaded. Bam smiled, and let go of Ville, who drew Bam in. Ville's arm held Bam's back down, Bam's head resting on Ville's chest where he could hear the soft sound of Ville's beating heart through his shirt. Bam couldn't help smile.

_**And buried the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart.**_

Bam looked up at Ville, who's eyes were closed, his eyelashes caressing his cheeks. They fluttered open, once again falling back out of sleep.

"Hey Ville."

"What is it?"

"I missed you. Did you miss me?"

Ville chuckled. "I missed you _terribly_ Bammie. How could you kick me out of your life like that?"

Bam bit his bottom lip. "I didn't want it to be that way. I never wanted you out of my life," Bam closed his eyes. "it just turned out that way."

The room was filled with the orange glow of the sun, indicating that they were long overdue from sleep.

Bam grinned at Ville. "You know what I really missed?"

"What?"

"Kiss me."

Ville looked at Bam. "What? Now?"

"Kiss me. Yes, now. Why the hell not--"

Ville kissed Bam, taking him by surprise, quickly taking advantage of Bam's open mouth. Bam felt Ville pouring all his desires and emotions into the kiss. Bam's mind became solely focused on Ville's arms that were still wrapped around him, the softest arms he could desire, and the soft lips that matched.

_**With the venomous kiss you gave me I'm killing loneliness.**_

_**With the warmth of you're arms you saved me,**_

Bam kissed back as passionately as he could, doing the same as Ville. He shared all his troubles and dreams with Ville, without uttering a single word.

_**Oh I'm killing loneliness with you.**_

Bam managed to glance at the window as they kissed, catching a glimpse of snow. The first snow of the new winter.

"_Who the hell DOES that? Lights a candle for winter?! Psh."_

"_It's a symbol of our burning love."_

_**The killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb. **_

Bam listened to Ville's beating heart until he felt himself drift into a deep, sleep. A REAL and happy sleep.

_**And I'm killing loneliness.**_

**(A/N) Review k? Let me kno what you think of the story so far (if it DOES continue) Good or bad, I don't care. I won't hold it against u. Give me suggestions if you'd like 2 please. **


	5. Wicked Game

**(A/N) Sorry for the wait. I had many bright new ideas from people, and unfortunately, I could not use ALL of them in this chapter, but I will use as much of them as I can in the story. I really really want to thank Music-is-me for your Jussi idea, which I have used, and SuperGirl-aka-Luna for your huuuuge list that totally helped me out and I am sure will continue to help me out through more than just this one chapter. Sorry I did not use The Sacrament, but Wicked Game was suggested, and it fit better with the Jussi idea. I hope I brought light to your ideas, at least a little?**

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

**Old Summary: Bam sneaks off to Finland and spends time with Ville. Later, Bam starts to wonder what he really feels for Mr.Ville Valo,their friendship taken to great extremes.BamxVille. Super short chapters. rated M for suggestive themes & strangly cute sexual events. **

**New summary: VAM.Bam sneaks off to Finland and spends time with Ville. Later, Bam starts to wonder what he really feels for Mr.Ville Valo,their friendship taken to great extremes. Also, Jussi 69 makes a comback into their lives. What does he want? BamxVille. Jussix???**

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

**Btw, this chapter is very short, but that is only because I wanted to get something out to keep you all on your feet. The chapter was originally longer, but i'm editing the rest of it and writing a bit more and adding it as the next chapter. I want to focus on those specific events and figure out how i'm approaching everything. You know, making it better.**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

**A little POV...**

Pretty Green Eyes 5- Wicked Game

**Bam**

I woke up as I felt icy air sting my bare skin. I felt my eyes re-shut instantly. I was still so tired. I couldn't even tell what parts of my body were bare, but I guessed it was only my torso from the way my skin started to feel like it got just a few degrees colder than the other parts of my body in that specific area. I didn't bother reaching for a blanket, since I guessed it wouldn't be on the bed. I always ended up tangling up in it at night and it always ended up on the floor. Always. My body felt at peace, resting on my soft bed, with the soothing sound of breathing in the background. Breathing….

I drew in a breath, breathing in a faint intoxicating scent, before I opened my eyes. I froze before I could sit up, finally noticing the cause for the breathing, the smell, the pretty, pretty smell… Ville had an arm wrapped around my torso, in what must have been a sad last minute attempt at warmth. Yeah, the blanket was no where. Ville's snow white skin was ice against my own, giving him even more pronounced features of a marble god. I couldn't help it; I just had to touch him. I gently stroked his arm with my fingers, feeling imaginary electricity charging at the tips, hoping the moment would last for a while. I felt like a stupid little school girl with a crush. Ville didn't notice at first. His faint breathing continued on, his eyelashes still over his cheeks. I couldn't stop smiling like an idiot at how I loved the way Ville slept. God, I loved the way Ville looked on a bed, awake or not. I had to admit it was sexy…

Ville's arm twitched, and he instantly woke up, mindlessly pushing up on his arms over me. I smiled wider. Ville's eyes glittered in the light of the morning, watery. His nose and cheeks were colored a shade of pink. His beautiful locks of hair were unruly; his hair was tangled from the night's toss and turn of uncomfortable sleep. Ville looked down at me; confused at first. His eyes lit up with joy once he realized who he was with and where. I dissolved.

"Good morning." He said, his sweet voice came out perfect.

I had to clear my throat just to get sound out. "Mornin."

Ville smiled at me, his eyes reflecting his awe. I felt myself getting self-conscious with Ville so close…. Staring at me…

Ville seemed to sense the tension and backed away. He sat beside me for a moment. A small grin melted across his face.

"You're quite a sleeper." He commented.

I didn't understand what he meant, but my eyes widened. I knew I had weird habits when I slept… ….especially now that Missy had to fucking break me.

"Tell me, do I have a black eye?" He scooted closer, and drew his face closer to mine. I swallowed.

I examined his face. "No."

"You hit me hard," Ville frowned.

"I hit your face?!"

"You struck me with a fist. Not _too _hard thankfully."

I stared at Ville in horror. I opened my mouth to apologize.

"shhhhh. It's alright." Ville interrupted.

"But I…"

"And you get tangled up in the blanket…I had to grab your arm at 1 in the morning to keep you from rolling off the bed," Ville continued, ignoring me. He paused and looked around. "Where _is _the blanket?"

I climbed out of bed and searched around. Sure enough it was on the floor of my side of the bed. I picked it up and threw it at him. "Shut up."

Ville crawled deeper into the blanket, disappearing. He was silent for a moment.

"You talk too."

"I do?" I felt my face burning already. _'Aw great.'_

"Oh yes," Ville's head popped back out of the blanket. "you sang actually. You were singing one of my songs last I remember. 'In joy and sorrow, my home's in your arms…in a world so hollow it's breaking my heart'.." Ville recited in his angelic voice. I probably wasn't even close to that.

"and you talked about Missy. Ah, and you also said 'no way Dunn, go fuck yourself.' with a rather humorous look on your face." Ville grinned.

"Why would you listen to all of it?!" My face burned so bad. I was remembering some perverted dreams I had and wondered how much I said on that.

"Could I help it if I was awaken at god knows what time to the sound of you moaning in my ear? I thought I went crazy." He grinned, hinting at the fact that I shared a little too much.

"You are if you think you love me."

_If the world was on fire, no one could save me but you._

_It's strange what desire, would make foolish people do._

He motioned me closer, and I felt myself melt again. He had always done that to me, and I wondered why I still wasn't used to being around him. I still went giddy every time he smiled.

_And I never dreamed that I'd need somebody like you._

_And I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you._

I climbed onto the bed beside him. It was funny how a guy like Ville… a guy, nonetheless, could do this for me. He took away the thoughts of Missy, no matter how wrong it was….

He showed me love.

_No, I… wanna fall in love…._

I wondered what I would have done if this man wasn't here to take away the pain that Missy had to cause me. It was my own fault anyways. But maybe there was a reason for what happened to Missy.

_This world is only gonna break your heart._

He gently kissed my forehead.

_No, I…. wanna fall in love._

He stared at me for a minute and moved closer to my mouth, his lips touching mine for the first time in what seemed to have been way too long.

I wonder what would have happened if I would have told Missy what I did.

_This world is only gonna break your heart._

Ville gently pulled away.

_With you…._

"I'm more than crazy. I _know _I love you Bambi."

**Ville**

I sat idly at the dinning table Bam never used, sipping at beer and trying to remember the poetry I had written in a world I no longer recognized. The paintings I had created. The stories I dreamt up. Nothing came to mind and I couldn't even remember the songs I had sang millions of times on a stage where sometimes I couldn't see anything but blinding light and strangely, darkness, where if it wasn't for the screaming of the crowd I would have thought I was dreaming. I felt lightheaded and as if I was floating…. Somewhere unnamed, a universe all of it's own. I wondered with a faint smile whether I was drunk.

"Ville, you're the only guy I know who cracks open a beer first thing in the morning and calls it breakfast." Bam frowned in disapproval. Hearing his voice breakthrough my train of exaggerated thought made me realize it was nothing but lightheadedness. A headache and nothing more.

I knew how much Bam hated to see me drink so much. It was a problem that Bam blamed himself for, though it had little to do with him. I had become a little too dependant on alcohol. I anyone was to blame here, it was me. I was to blame for how much _he _drank. He would only drink at night, but ever since he met me, he would crack open beers at all hours of the day, just to do what I was doing. I didn't like that. I couldn't help do it though, even if it was causing a bad influence for Bam to follow. After drinking too much, I would wake up feeling a terrible feeling that's beyond description. All I needed when I felt like that, was a taste of beer, and all was fine again. Why? I wasn't sure. I tried to cut back, really I did, but all was failed attempt. I sipped again at my beer.

There was a thud on the door, causing both our heads to snap up. Bam's eyes went wide, like the face of a child caught in an indecent act. Bam muttered something heatedly, and stood up, almost knocking down the chair. He walked, all business, to the door, muttering profanity and his guesses on who it could be. I stared at the can of beer. I sat patiently, though I couldn't possibly begin to guess who it was. Bam had the strangest visitors barging in through his door all the time. It surprised me that he had finally taken the time to actually lock his front door, that had remained unlocked since he first moved in. All I knew was that whoever walked in through that door was bound to give me a hard time. Everybody did. I heard the door crack open, and a voice that sounded vaguely familiar. Bam greeted happily… a laugh, and a lot of questions as far as I could tell. I lazily rested my heavy head on the table top and closed my eyes. Footsteps started to approach me and I opened my eyes, in reluctance.

And then there was him.

His hair was spiked like always, inky in a way that only he could pull off. He wore a trench coat, though it had warmed outside recently, like he usually did, and tight leather pants with chains that clinked to a halt. His coat was open, and he wore nothing but a fishnet shirt underneath that made me look away shyly. I dared to look back, and stared at his facial features instead. He was just as surprised to see me. Maybe more by the way his mouth practically hung open. He stood motionless for a while.

"Jussi." I smiled.

There was something different about the way he stared at me, and I wondered if I looked as terrible as I felt. Bam would have said something, wouldn't he have? I looked away from his eyes, self conscious now, imagining the terrible mess that sat in the form of me, in contrast to the beautiful furniture around. And of course in contrast to Jussi, who was as done up as always. 'Leave me' I thought of saying, but by the way he sat down in a chair beside me, I knew we'd be here for a while.

"Hello." He smiled. "What are you doing here?" He asked casually. I had to admit his English sounded a lot better than the last time we had encountered each other.

I stiffened a yawn and stared at him for a moment. "On vacation."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Me too."

I picked up my head instantly. "What do you mean?"

"I thought I'd surprise Bam." He smiled a little maliciously.

I felt my face drop a bit at that. There was no doubt I was quite fond of Jussi. He was a good man; wild and nice, and funny. But I felt the twinge of disappointment settle over as I quickly realized that I'd have to keep a safe distance from my dearest Bambi. Ah, and I'd have to stop calling him that. Jussi didn't notice my disappointment.

"Well, how wonderful." I smiled.

**Bam**

_Ryan! Novak?! Raab?! No he doesn't live around anymore… what happened to him? Glomb? Dico! Oh god, don't let it be one of them! _

I cursed as I walked to the door, ready to yell at them to go away. They hated Ville. Ville had always stood out when the gang was here. Ville was gentle, polite, and let's admit it, beautiful, with an accent. They were messy, rude assholes to anybody that was different. Sure, they were my friends, but they always had to be assholes to Ville. They'd pick on him because he looked gentle. Ryan held a grudge against him for reasons I rather not mention. They'd make fun of the last traces of his accent that he still had, and how he talked in a polite manner. I hated when they had to show up while Ville was here. Ville never admitted it, but it obviously hurt his feelings when they'd laugh at him… and fucking trip him down the stairs….

I knocked down a chair. Fuck.

I swung the door open. "What?!"

Then I rubbed my eyes. Jussi? I blinked. I shook my head. He was still there, grinning.

"Jussi!" I greeted happily. Was I relieved. Jussi had to be one of my closest friends, and he always got along great with Ville. I remembered the last time I saw him… the time we were in Helsinki… and he knocked on the hotel room door announcing he was leaving for a concert…. While Ville was in bed, his hair a mess, shirtless from our night together…. I sighed in pleasure at the memory.

"Surprise..?" He said, a little uncertain. I probably looked crazy going from mad to confused to happy to turned on in under a minute. I blushed as the thought of Ville in bed crossed my mind again.

"Hey, come in! I pulled him inside before he could get a look at my face. I tried to get rid of the blush.

"What are you doing here? Wait, you're on vacation right? Are you staying? How long? What do you want to do?" I asked a million questions, smiling like an idiot, glowing with excitement.

He did his best to answer them. He was on vacation alright, and he was staying for a week before going back to Finland to spend the rest of his vacation with Jyrki.

"Hey, want some brewsk… I mean, a beer?" I had been saying brewskies since Ville was here. I had to remind myself not to do that.

"Sure." Jussi smiled.

"Oh, hey, want me to take your bags upstairs first?"

"No I'll do it." Jussi smiled. I nodded and rushed down to the pirate bar for beer. I wondered what Ville was doing.

When I got back to Ville, Jussi had already found him. They were talking casually, and I was relieved to see Ville smiling a bit. That was good. No bloody mess of a Ville would come out of this… unlike the stair incident… and the time in the driveway… and the pool…. And the chair…. And the closet…

God how many times had my fucking friends picked on Ville?

Ville looked up at me. "Bam." He smiled.

I handed Jussi the beer, although he was already drinking out of the one Ville had left unfinished.

Ville got up and yawned as he stretched out his arms, before turning to Jussi.

"Excuse me."

I tilted my head at Ville. He smiled at me. "I'm just going to go shower if you don't mind?"

The image that ran through my mind right then my made my face burn again. "Uh… ye-yeah, go ahead."

Ville breezed past me and I couldn't help turn to watch him walk away. His hips moving pleasingly with his elegant stride. I sighed in awe before I realized that I wasn't alone. I turned back to Jussi, who was now idly sipping at the new beer.

**Jussi**

_What a wicked game to play…_

_To make me feel this way…._

I had known. I had known in Helsinki that there was a bond. Intimacy. I knew when I first noticed Ville blushing just because Bam would stand next to him. I noticed Bam do the same. I noticed every nervous laugh, flirtatious word… and the way they looked into each other's eyes. It made me fume in envy. I wanted that. More than anything I wanted Ville.

_What a wicked thing to do… _

_to make me dream of you._

I had fallen for the man the day we met. I had dreamed of the singer every night since.

Yes, the hot Finn, Ville Valo. With his beautiful, thick locks of luscious brown hair, and his pretty green eyes. His almost sickly thin, but still sexy body.

_What a wicked thing to say…_

_You never felt this way…._

I had kissed him before. It was a playful kiss. A kiss that ended up posted all over Finnish tabloids. A kiss that started rumors that we were together, that I wanted to be true… the kiss that he really thought meant nothing.

_What a wicked thing to do…_

_To make me dream of you._

And then there was him.

Bam.

Bam Margera. The guy who got whatever the fuck he wanted.

With his light blue eyes and pale skin. He always glowed in a way that I could never pull off.

_What a wicked thing to say…_

_You never felt this way…_

He was the exact opposite of me, and when the man you love is attracted to the opposite of you, there's really not much hope. He had swept Ville off his feet who knows how long ago. I hadn't noticed. I didn't know. I had made a lot of assumptions that there was more than friendship with them. But I hadn't been so sure until I walked in while they were having sex in Finland. The fact that they had left the door unlocked mocked me. I stood at the doorway and watched in horror. I stayed for a minute, admiring it all and wishing more than anything, while I stood there with a hard on, that it was me instead of Bam. I almost offered to join in, just to get to Ville. But I didn't. I slowly took a few steps out of the room as their moans escalated in the near dark, and shut the door. I locked it too. Then I had gone back to my hotel room to tend to my throbbing hard on, drowning in my own fantasies and sorrow as I muffled moans of my own.

_What a wicked thing to do…_

_To make me dream of you._

I had tried to stop thinking about him. I wanted to get along with Bam. Be friends like always. I was trying to prove that I could be friends with Bam, Ville aside. I hadn't expected the god to be sitting in Bam's kitchen looking like he just rolled out of bed. Especially since Bam had looked like he had rolled out of bed too.

I watched as Ville sashayed into the living room, where I was sitting on the couch next to Bam. Bam dropped the remote that he had been pushing buttons on for the past twenty minutes. Ville's hair was still sort of wet, and he looked more awake.

"Terve!!!!" He chirped as he half pranced into the room.

Bam chuckled beside me at the sudden change in Ville.

Ville stopped short. He turned around and started heading in a different direction.

"I hope you have decent breakfast foods, Bam." Ville called out.

Bam chuckled, as if this was some joke. "You seriously believe that's a possibility?"

Bam rubbed my head, messing up my hair.

"I'm gonna go shower, I feel all gross now that everyone looks clean. Tell Ville there's probably a Poptart or something in the second cabinet." He stood up.

"Sure." I smiled. I watched him head upstairs. Instead of going to Ville, I waited. After a few minutes I made my way up the stairs and into Bam's room, over to the bathroom door. I let myself inside. He was in the shower already.

"What the hell?" He heard me come in.

"It's me, Jussi."

"What's up?"

"I just wanted to ask a simple question."

He went silent for a minute, nothing but the sound of the water.

"What?"

I was still unsure whether this was the best way to do things, but I was here already so I couldn't do anything else.

"Do you love Ville?"

There was a longer pause, and the sound of the shower was making me impatient.

_World was on fire, no one could save me but you…._

"Yes."

I nodded. "Does he love you?"

"He says he does. And I believe him."

"You're more than friends." I nodded.

"Yeah."

_It's strange what desire will make foolish people do…._

"Bam. I love Ville. I have for a very long time. I want him back."

_No, and I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you…._

He turned off the water. The frosted glass door of the shower opened and he poked his head out. Surprisingly he had a grin on his face.

"Are you challenging me?"

I gritted my teeth. "I want him bad."

He chuckled. "You seriously are thinking of taking Ville away from me for yourself?"

I grinned. "That's the plan."

He closed his eyes briefly, then he looked up at me, his blue eyes intense. He was still smiling.

"Winner gets Ville. I win, you leave my house empty handed at the end of the week. You win, you leave and take him with you?"

"That sounds right."

His smile widened. "You're on."

……_I'll never dream that I lose somebody like you, no _

No, I… wanna fall in love….. 

_This world is only gonna break your heart…._

_No, I… wanna fall in love…_

_This world is only gonna break your heart…_

_With you… _

And nobody loves no one. 

**To be continued.**

**Short, ha. But I figured what's gonna happen next is better off in a different chapter, so I can give it all the work it deserves put into it.**

**Review! Tell me what you think of the new pairing! **

**Also,**

**Suggestions please! They help, I swear! I use all of my suggestions as much as I possibly can!**

_Song: a cover for the song 'Wicked Game' originally by Chris Isaak in 1989. A version of it done by H.I.M. was on their very first ever piece of work, a demo TAPE called 'This Is Only The Beginning' (tape 2/2) and a re-recorded 2000 version of it was in the cd 'Razorblade Romance.' It was one of the songs that made H.I.M. BIG, and this song has been seen again and again on many of their cds, not including their newest cd, Venus Doom.  
_


	6. Beautiful

**Sorry for the wait. Writers block, boyfriend, stress and being sick…. It all really gets in the way of your yummy-VAM-writing-time. Special thanks to **The Nurse Who Loved Me **for your genuine support! You very much inspired me to keep writing, and you don't know how much I needed inspiration. Also special thanks to **ToasterDoom **for your lovely song suggestions. I couldn't use **Your Sweet Six Six Six **too well with these events, but your other suggestion of **Beautiful** was perfect for this chapter!! Thanks to everybody that is STILL reading my work, even after how long I make you wait!!**

**This chapter has been edited from the previous post. It was bugging me SO much, that I changed around a few events. Sorry if it causes confusion! But, forget the last post and take this new one as the real chapter 6. Thankyou to **The Nurse Who Loved Me **(again) for your ideas on how I could make this better. So talented at this 'ideas' business!**

Because of so many italics, lyrics are in: _**bold italics.**_

Pretty Green Eyes

Chapter six

Beautiful

**No POV**

_Their bare bodies were entwined as they panted in the light of the dim moon. They were covered in each other's cold sweat, but neither of the two seemed to mind. They stayed in each other's arms, waiting for their heart beats to normalize as they listened to the sound of the light rain that had just started up. There was no other sound besides their heavy breathing. Their eyes were shutting, but they forced themselves awake, and through the moonlight stared into each other's sparkling eyes. They were both tired, but neither of the two wanted to stop staring. Not yet. They both wanted the moment to last forever, and they were waiting for the other to submit to sleep first. They smiled. Ville unlocked himself from the other's embrace, and sat up, smiling in ecstasy, his soft locks of tan hair slightly damp, his pale face flushed. He leaned closer to the other man._

"_I love you, Jussi."_

Bam flailed in the covers and bolted upright, gasping for air. He was drenched in his own cold sweat, and an involuntary shudder went through his body as he, horror stricken, looked around the dark room. He rested a hand on his heart, feeling it pound against his chest, and breathed slowly to calm himself down, eyes closed tight. _It was a dream._

It was still early, as far as Bam could tell. Only 1 in the morning said the alarm, which he always glanced at by habit. It was the second time that night that he had awoken due to the same horrid dream…

He uttered a loud obnoxious sigh, and fell back onto the pillow, staring up at the ceiling.

"Ville, there's no chance you're laying next to me, is there?" Bam whispered, a slight bit hopeful. He turned and stared at the empty space, and felt a sudden urge to cry.

Bam was in his own room now, for the first time in what seemed like forever; alone in his own bed, being tormented with awful dreams all over again. He stared at the empty space, as he felt a knot form in his throat and his eyes start to well up.

_Stop being a little bitch. Get a grip._

"Ugh!" Bam yanked at his hair in frustration. His blue eyes wandered back to the empty space.

_I'm such an idiot. _He sighed.

The dream was still so vivid in Bam's memory, and he couldn't get rid of the image of Ville, with his glistening eyes, in bed with Jussi.

It was at that moment, alone and shaken from his dream, and with tears in his eyes, that he realized it.

He was scared.

Ville Valo gazed out at the streams of glistening water that came at him like daggers. Morning showers greeted him as he felt the stinging cold glass with the tip of his nose, and gently stroked the window with his fingertips, smudging the fog he had created.

His eyes kept watering over, begging him for sleep. 180 minutes of dreams is what they wanted, but his restless mind kept him moving around the room. Ville walked in grace across his room and back many times. He came in and out of bed, never able to sleep, never able to stay fully awake. He was absurdly restless, gloomy, agitated and moody.

He had lost track of time and hadn't slept at all, alone with his thoughts and feeling of solitude in his empty room. He was filled with overwhelming guilt, knowing that he was soon to leave Bam to go back to his own life, which was unavoidable. He didn't know whether it would be better if he just left in the shade of night one day, or whether it be best to tell Bam he was leaving, but in both situations he saw that Bam would be upset.

Ville wished there was somebody else there, to keep his mind off of everything. He knew if he was accompanied by someone he would finally be able to sleep, but he had nothing but himself.

Ville turned away from the orange glow of the new sun, and walked back to bed. He sat at the edge of the bed for hours, waiting. He had already given up on sleep and decided to wait for somebody to wake up, to keep him company downstairs.

The house was quiet with sleep for a long time, but the mood had suddenly changed in a way. The aura felt different, and somehow he felt the sound of life.

Ville stood up and made his way across the room, pressing himself against the door. He heard the soft click of a door open down the hall.

"Jussi." He smiled, knowing already who it was.

He listened as Jussi sauntered out of the room, and waited for him to get downstairs. Ville didn't want to look desperate for company, although he knew far too well he was.

He looked himself over, a complete mess. In his soft black boxers, and messy nest of hair, he didn't feel too presentable, but he didn't really care.

_It's only Jussi._

He turned the door knob, and creaked the door open.

Ville drew in warmth from Jussi and the blanket they were curled up under. The morning rain was still falling, against the windows of the darkened living room that glowed with the bright blue light of the television. They quietly watched the morning news on the couch together, not uttering a word to each other. Not moving. Not thinking. They blankly watched the weather reporter move across the screen, and animated clouds with animated rain.

They were both tired, both cold, both not paying attention to the other, but the moment they shared was friendly and pleasant all the same.

Jussi glanced over at Ville more times than he would have liked, although Ville was blind to it. He thought about asking Ville why he had not slept last night, for he was certain that Ville got not a minute of sleep, but instead, he kept to himself and watched as Ville came in and out of sleep.

_**Just one look into your eyes… **_

Ville's pale green eyes sparkled with exhaustion, as he looked through Jussi's soul. "huh?" He uttered blankly.

Jussi smiled. "Nothing."

_**One look and I'm crying…**_

Jussi knew it wasn't polite to stare…

but he couldn't help it.  
_**'Cause you're so beautiful…**_

Here he was, sitting with Ville, who was naked except for the boxers Jussi was nearly compelled to remove. Here he was, sitting with Ville, who's hair displayed just how much he had been tossing and turning all night…..

Ville's toenails were perfectly painted black; something that caught Jussi's eye every time Ville's toes would accidentally slip out from hiding under the blanket. His pale ink tattoos begged for Jussi to reach out and trace them with his finger….

_**Just one kiss and I'm alive  
One kiss and I'm ready to die **_

Jussi glanced at Ville's lips, remembering how soft they were…. Remembering that he had gotten a chance to feel them against his own, oh so long ago….. How he wished he could do it again….  
_**'Cause you're so beautiful… **_

Jussi tensed as he felt Ville's head rest upon his shoulder.

Jussi remained silent, and sat still as Ville fell asleep then and there.

_**Just one touch and I'm on fire…**_

Glimpsing at Ville, his heart raced and his pulse beat and his body tingled as he felt the texture of Ville's remarkably soft locks of hair against his bare shoulder…

_**One touch and I'm crying …**_**  
**_**'Cause you're so beautiful.**_

An hour passed like seconds as the rain started to cease and the sun started to shine bright through the dazzling glass windows.

Ville felt himself slipping down, and only then did he realize he was sitting up. Or at least, he had originally been sitting up, but he had been sliding down so much that now he was somewhere in-between sitting and laying on his side.

He struggled to open his heavy lids, and looked up at Jussi from his shoulder.

_How did I get here…?_

Jussi didn't seem to mind any, and Ville couldn't be bothered to pick up his tired head, drained as he was of any sort of energy. He could barely maintain his eyes from closing, let alone sit up.

He closed his eyes again, and started drifting back to sleep, which came as no problem for him.

_I finally have that company I wanted._

Bam tip-toed towards the living room, finding the silence to be strikingly odd. He approached the couch he saw the back of Jussi's limp spiked hair from, and leaned over the couch to see what he already knew was Ville, resting against Jussi's shoulder. He turned to Jussi.

"He didn't sleep last night?" Bam asked with a low voice.

"I don't believe so." Jussi whispered, slowly turning his head to look at Bam and see his expression.

There seemed to be deep thought in Bam's eyes, but he refused to look at Jussi. Instead, he stared at Ville hard.

Jussi looked down at Ville.

"Do you think his neck's going to hurt sleeping like this?" Jussi asked Bam thoughtfully.

"I think he should sleep in a bed."

"Yeah, you're probably right... I should--"

"Oh! I'll take him!" Bam offered quickly.

Jussi blinked as Bam circled around the couch and started to pick Ville up.

_He's... jealous._

Ville felt himself being lifted up from the blanket, the cold atmosphere chilling his bare skin. He was only half awake, and couldn't open his eyes to see what was happening, despite his curiosity. He merely felt and listened as much as he could through his haze.

There were arms under him, fingers gripping onto his limp body. He felt the texture of the fingers against his skin, and he felt the familiar touch of Bam's fingers.

_Bam….?_

He was drained. Ville felt himself ascending, the motion of what he assumed was Bam hinted they were going up some stairs. The curiosity finally got the best of him, and he opened his eyes enough to be able to confirm that it _was _Bam. Why was Bam carrying him? He hadn't remembered seeing Bam since the night before. He exhaustedly closed his eyes again, and trusted Bam to take him wherever it was that they were going with ease. He let himself slip back into his dreams.

Jussi watched as Bam calmly walked down the stairs, humming to himself. He was heading off in a different direction but he stopped and turned back, walking over to Jussi.

"Hey, I'm going to shower. If he comes downstairs, order him back up. He needs sleep, and I have a feeling he's not going to get it." Bam frowned at his last statement.

Jussi nodded. "Yeah."

Bam nodded and turned, off to take a shower.

Jussi sat in silence for a minute, missing Ville on his shoulder. It was a nice moment, until Bam came and intentionally ended it. It was obvious that Bam was going to do everything he could to prevent Jussi from even getting _close _to Ville. Jussi had to take every chance he could to crawl into Ville's heart...

He noticed Bam was gone.

_He's going to be gone for a while..._ Jussi pondered.

It was more than likely that the only chance Jussi would get to be around Ville, without disturbance by Bam, would be while Bam was asleep...

and while Bam showered.

Jussi stood up, and took in a breath as he looked over at the stairs...

_Ville smiled at the glow about Bam, as Bam walked him up to the grand castle._

_The house already surprised Ville, as big and private as it was, and as they came closer, something automatically caught Ville's eye. He grinned.  
"Is that a… unicorn?"_

_Bam followed Ville's gaze. He sighed. "Yeah… stupid door." He muttered. "It's coming down first thing tomorrow."_

_Ville stared at the unicorn mural on the front door for a minute. "It's a cute unicorn."_

_Bam lifted a brow at Ville, then laughed. "You're so weird!" He smiled, before grabbing Ville's arm and excitedly leading him into the house._

_They walked into an empty purple hallway that lead into the rest of the house. "I'm putting up frames and posters and stuff on these walls." Bam motioned for the purple empty walls._

_Ville nodded, as he touched a curtain that hung tied back at the end of the hallway._

"_Oh! I gotta show you the fireplace!" Bam exclaimed. He ran up to Ville dramatically. _

"_You'll hate it." He smiled._

_Ville tilted his head. "Why?" He asked, curiously._

"_You'll see." Bam said, walking past Ville to the right, towards what appeared to be an arrangement of couches and chairs, as Ville began jogging to catch up. _

_Bam stopped Ville._

"_Turn away!" Bam said quickly, spinning Ville to face a different direction. _

"_What is it?" Ville demanded, becoming annoyed.  
"Patience! I need to explain it to you first." Bam grinned, gripping onto Ville's shoulders from behind._

"_It's my Nightmare Before Christmas fireplace." Bam started. "There's Jack Skelington lights, and these cool stockings and everything!" _

"_That's my favorite movie." Ville said quietly. _

_Bam chuckled. "Yeah. I know. That's why I thought it would be the best place to put it."_

"_Put…what? This is getting ridiculous Bam." Ville frowned. He despised any sort of surprises and guessing games._

"_Put, well… you."_

"_Me?" Ville questioned, with a vague idea of what he was about to see._

_Bam spun Ville around. "Now I can show you!" He exclaimed, lifting an arm to present the surprise._

_Ville looked at the fireplace, which was bigger than he had expected, and covered with everything Bam had mentioned and more. His attention quickly was captured by the giant picture frame that hung above the fireplace, and he stared at a portrait of his own band, and as he had dreaded, Ville was there, front and center, blown up huge to overlook the living room, biting his finger._

_There was a pause as Ville stared at it, horrified._

"_Bam!" Ville protested._

"_Ville!" Bam chirped back, as he watched the foreign man become self-conscious._

_Ville covered his mouth with a hand and closed his eyes for a minute. Then he looked back over at Bam. "You crazy fan." He muttered._

"_Don't you like it, Vil?"_

"_Oh, I hate seeing pictures of myself!" He pouted, bouncing like a child._

_Bam smiled, and shook his head. "I don't know what you're looking it…" He said, looking up at the picture frame and sighing pleasantly. He looked back at Ville. "But you're beautiful."_

"I love you."

The voice cut through Ville's dream, strange and out of place.

He felt a pair of soft lips gently touch his forehead, as he started opening his eyes.

_**Just one kiss and I'm alive**_

_Mm…lips…_

"I love you too." Ville moaned, assuming it was Bam.

Ville heard a chuckle. "No you don't." Came Jussi's voice.

_Jussi's...voice...?_

Ville scrambled up, startled, flailing in the blankets. "Ah?!"

Jussi straightened, and looked at Ville blankly for a minute.

Ville stared at him, waiting for him to move.

"Oh, you're fully awake now…." Jussi said, a little surprised.

Ville blinked, dazed. _Lips…_

_Did he just…?_

Jussi stepped closer and gently pushed Ville back down on the pillow. "And you were sleeping so well." He shook his head to himself.

Ville quietly watched him, bewildered. It was the first time Ville had seen the morning Jussi, half naked and hair half down. He was a mess, but he still managed to keep his splendor.

Ville tried to keep from staring at his chest. He had always admired Jussi's chest, and from time to time he would find himself staring at it. Like in Finland, when they were in the bar. Or the day before, when Jussi had walked in with his fishnet shirt on...

Jussi pulled the blanket back up, and started tucking Ville in. Ville tensed a bit, finding Jussi was acting a little odd, but Ville let him, watched him…dazzled by his familiarity…

Ville stared at Jussi's lips with a faint curiosity. _I've kissed those lips. _He only just then remembered an event that had happened very long ago.

_**One kiss and I'm ready to die**_

"Ville?"

Ville looked up. "Sorry?" He said with an innocence that made Jussi smile.  
_**'Cause you're so beautiful. **_

"I asked if you forgave me… for waking you up…I didn't mean to, really. I know you're tired."

Ville nodded, speechless.

He was starting to like this new found flirtatious Jussi, he realized, trying to hide a blush from appearing.

"Well, I'll let you sleep."

"Sleep…? Ville glanced over at the alarm clock on the nightstand, noticing it was 12:04 pm. He was recalling why he hadn't slept the night before.

_Bam... I was up all night thinking of Bam..._

_...I completly forgot about him until now. I've been so caught up thinking of..._

_Jussi._

Jussi followed Ville's gaze. "Don't worry about the time. Bam said it was fine if you slept the rest of today, and I surely don't mind."

_He's made me forget about Bam! I actually slept! And he's leaving already?_

"Wait!" Ville caught Jussi's hand desperately.

Jussi blinked.

_**Just one touch and I'm on fire **_

Jussi gripped onto his hand, matching Ville's grip. He couldn't help smile.

_**One touch and I'm crying **_

Ville looked at their hands, then looked up at Jussi.

_I don't want him to leave yet... I can sleep if he's here..._

_...and I kind of like him here._

"Yes?" Jussi asked politely, noticing the sudden change in how Ville was acting.

Ville was starting to shy away from his question. _No... this is wrong!_

_But even still..._

"I was… wondering… I'm sorry, this is a little awkward.." Ville mused. "But, could you stay with me until I fall asleep? I…I can't sleep alone."

Jussi looked at Ville, overwhelmed with his love for the creature.

"Sure." He smiled.  
_**'Cause you're so beautiful.**_

Ville looked at Jussi happily.

_**Just one smile and I'm wild **_

"Thank you." Ville smiled.

_**  
One smile and I'm ready to die…**_

_**'Cause you're so beautiful. **_

_Song: 'Beautiful' is the 9__th__ track of H.I.M.'s 2001 release cd, 'Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights'. _

**Question!! Do you prefer this story in POV, or with no POV? And do you prefer if a single chapter is just one character's POV, or if in the single chapter it switches from one person's POV to another's POV? I'm playing around with POV writing styles, as you can tell, and I really would like to know, so I could be sure on how I want to do the following chapters. **


End file.
